Grimms' RWBY Tales
by shadow282
Summary: The Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales, re-imagined with RWBY characters. Come for classic tales with simple moral lessons, stay for the characters you love. Newest story: The End
1. Listening Skills

**It's a simple enough idea. Take Grimms Fairy Tales, insert RWBY characters, see what happens.**

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Grimms' RWBY Tales #1: Listening Skills

In a faraway land, a king named Ozpin ruled over a beautiful land. In his castle garden sat the prize possession of his land, a tree growing large golden apples. However, the king soon noticed that every night one of his apples was stolen from the orchard. The king became enraged, and he set his gardener to watch the tree all night to catch the thief. The gardener set his oldest son, Mercury, to watch the tree. However, Mercury, confident in his ability to awake to any sound, didn't bother staying up. In the morning, Mercury was found sleeping under the tree and another golden apple was missing.

The gardener then told Cardin, his second son, to watch over the tree and catch the thief. However, he was also arrogant and didn't bother staying awake. The next morning, another apple was gone without a trace of the thief. Finally, the gardener set his third son, Jaune, beneath the tree to catch the thief. Jaune spent the whole night awake, silently watching under the tree. In the middle of the night, he heard a rustling sound in the branches and looked up to find a golden bird picking up an apple. Jaune grabbed a nearby stone and threw it at the bird, hoping to knock it down.

He missed. By a lot. The stone hit the trunk more than 10 feet away from the bird. Fortunately for him, it did startle the bird enough that it quickly swerved away and ended up dropping a golden feather to the ground. The next morning, he brought the feather to the king, and the king realized this single feather was worth more than all the riches in his country. He knew then that he needed the rest of the bird, and he directed his subjects to find the golden treasure.

Mercury set out at once, thinking that he could easily find the perch of the golden bird. On his way down the road, he saw a cat sitting on the side of the road. He decided he needed to kick the cat (he was that kind of person) but as he approached the cat sprang up and cried "Do not hurt me, and I will help you on your journey. In the upcoming town there are two taverns. One of the taverns will be nice and full of music and laughter; the other will be quiet and empty. Go to the second tavern, or you will never complete your journey." Mercury decided to kick the cat anyway (he was also _that_ kind of person) but the cat jumped up and ran away.

When Mercury entered the town, he found it just as the cat described. However, he was too weak to avoid the temptation of Qrow's tavern, filled with music, light, and laughter, and he entered the tavern. He drank, made merry, and forgot his journey completely.

As time passed and Mercury did not return, Cardin decided to set out after his brother. His journey mirrored Mercury's travels; he also met the cat and she gave him the same advice. He also went into the village, and when he saw Mercury drinking in the window of Qrow's he decided to join his brother in merriment.

Time passed, and neither brother returned from their journey. Jaune finally decided to go on the journey himself. He also saw the cat sitting at the side of the road, but he instead decided to approach it and say "Hello there fellow traveler. What is your name?"

"My name is Blake." The cat responded, "And for your courtesy, I will help lead you to your destination." As they walked, Blake repeated the same advice she had given his brothers. They reached the village and Blake led Jaune to the empty tavern. Jaune noticed how much more appealing Qrow's tavern was, but he followed his friend's advice and walked into Winter's tavern instead. There, he rested a full night and, feeling refreshed, started off at dawn. Outside the village sat Blake, and she continued with him on the path.

"The bird you seek is living in a castle far down this road" Blake counseled. "When you get there, every guard will be asleep. Ignore them and go to the center of the castle. There the bird will be sleeping in its room. The bird will go with you willingly as long as you also take her weapon, a pair of golden gauntlets. Take nothing else out of the room."

Jaune nodded agreement and they continued walking. However, the journey was long and Jaune soon became tired. "Can I ride upon your back for a while?" Jaune asked his friend. "You seem to have boundless energy and can surely take my weight."

Blake turned to him with anger in her eyes. "Try to ride me, young man, and I will claw out your eyes."

"Okay okay, it was just a suggestion. Think of it no more."

"In the future, if you wish to ride a woman I suggest you gain a little more tact. Otherwise they will respond in the same manner." Blake hissed out. "Plus, I don't swing that way." she whispered, almost too softly to hear.

"What was that?" Jaune asked.

"Nothing! Shut up and walk!"

They kept walking until they reached the castle. Blake waited outside as Jaune crept on past the sleeping guards. He walked to the center of the castle, and as he entered the bird's room he saw a beautiful woman with pure golden hair wearing a golden feather cloak.

"You're the golden bird?" He asked incredulously.

"Tweet tweet, asshole. I'm Yang. Now are you planning on taking me or not? The king only lets me out at night and spending all day alone in this room is boring." The strange woman responded.

"Fine, let's go." As Jaune turned to leave, he saw a pair of items sitting on a table by the door. One was a pair of golden gauntlets, the other a complex red scythe. He moved to pick up the gauntlets but felt himself hesitant. _Surely this scythe would make a better weapon than a gauntlet_. He grabbed the scythe and started towards the door.

"What are you doing? Why aren't you taking my weapon?" The woman behind him asked. He responded with a shrug and said, "This scythe here is a much cooler weapon than any pair of gauntlets."

At his words, the woman's eyes turned red and her hair started to glow. "Excuse me?!" She shouted, moving angrily towards him. Her words woke the entire castle, and Jaune was quickly arrested and brought before the king.

"I am King Ozpin" (King Ozpin's twin brother) " and I should kill you for trying to steal my bird. However, I am a merciful ruler. There is a golden horse who can run faster than the wind who lives in the next castle. Bring her to me, and I will give you my golden bird."

Jaune quickly set out on his new journey, and he saw that waiting outside was his friend Blake. "You're an idiot." she said, glaring up at him "How could you not follow such simple instructions? Fortunately for you, I take care of my friends. I know where this golden horse lives."

They walked quietly until they came upon another castle. "If you wish to live, you must follow my instructions. The horse will be sleeping alone in its stable. She will follow you out, but only if you put her red cloak upon her back."

Jaune nodded assent and walked into the stable. The sight he saw momentarily gave him pause. Standing in the stable was a young woman wearing the bottom half of a horse costume, half painted with peeling gold paint. "This is getting absurd. I expect you're the horse?"

"Neigh, you jerk." She said as she glared up at him. "Let's just get out of here. The king never gives me anything good to eat. Is it really too much to ask for some strawberries? Maybe the occasional cookie?"

Jaune sighed, realizing how ridiculous his life has become. He looked around until he saw two cloaks hanging on the wall. One coat was a worn-out red while the other was pure, gleaming gold. _Surely she'll appreciate this stunning gold cloak_ he thought to himself as he grabbed it off the wall.

But when the woman saw him grab the gold cloak, she cried "I'm not going anywhere with someone with such poor taste!" There was a sudden blur, and the woman disappeared out the door and caused so much noise that she alerted the guards and they arrested him. They took Jaune and brought him before the king.

"I am King Ozpin" (not either of those, their illegitimate half-brother who looks identical to them) "and I should kill you for trying to steal Ruby. However, I am a merciful ruler. There is a beautiful princess who lives in the next castle. Bring her to me, and I will give you my golden horse."

Jaune quickly agreed and ran out of the castle. Outside, he again saw Blake waiting. She pounced on top of his head, batting his ears with her paws "You stupid, stupid, stupid man. Why won't you listen to me? I should leave you to figure this out on your own." However, she instead jumped off and started leading him down the road.

"This time PAY ATTENTION! Princess Weiss goes to the bath house at midnight every night. Go there, give her a kiss, and she will follow you out of the castle. However, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES let her talk to the king. He will not want to let anyone take his precious daughter, and he will surely throw you in prison. Do you understand me?" Blake again advised him.

"Okay, this time I will listen to you. After all, you do always seem to be right."

They reached the castle and Jaune snuck into the bathhouse. There, he saw the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen. The moonlight washed over her deep blue eyes and flowing white hair in a manner that almost left him stunned. He went up and kissed her, and she agreed to run away with him. However, when they went to leave she pleaded that he allow her to explain everything to her father. He remembered Blake's advice, but he knew he couldn't say no to that face. As soon as they both stepped inside the castle, guards came and arrested him.

While in jail, the king came to visit him. "I am King Ozpin" (no family relation, they just happen to share the same name and look identical) "and I should execute you for trying to steal my daughter away. However, she begged me to give you a task to prove your worth. Outside this window is a small hill. Remove the hill, and I will let you and my daughter leave with my blessing. If you fail, I will kill you on the next day." The king knew that this was an impossible task. He had no intention of letting this young man steal away his precious daughter.

Jaune agreed and spent the next six days digging tirelessly to remove the hill. But by the end of the sixth day, he had made very little progress. He knew then that he was going to die. He almost gave up until he saw his old friend Blake cresting the hill.

"You know, this is entirely your fault. I should just leave you to the consequences of your actions. But fortunately for you, I don't let my friends die. Lay down and rest, and I will finish digging for you." Jaune was so tired he readily agreed to her plan. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was Blake seemingly splitting into multiple different shadowy copies of herself.

When he woke in the morning, the hill was completely gone, and Blake was sleeping on the now flat ground. He quietly thanked Blake and happily walked back to the castle, and the king was forced to keep his word and let his daughter leave with the man she loved.

As the pair started walking down the road, Blake ran up beside them. "You're very welcome. Now listen to me, and we will be able to come away with the princess, the horse, and the bird. Here's what we need to do..."

Jaune returned to the second castle and enacted their plan. He walked in with the princess and showed her to the king. King Ozpin was so delighted that he immediately brought out Ruby for Jaune to take with him. She was wearing her favorite red cloak. Jaune lent down and whispered to her, "I have a plan to get you and the princess out of her. Come, let me mount you and-"

"Excuse me!? No man is going to mount me, at least not until marriage! I will quickly carry us all out of here without all that nonsense. Just keep it in your pants."

With that settled, Jaune asked the king to say goodbye to his princess. As soon as the two clasped hands, Ruby grabbed them in her hands and they disappeared into a blur. Next thing he knew, they were far away from the castle and the air was covered in rose petals. They then met up with Blake and walked to the first castle. Blake and the princess waited outside while Jaune took Ruby into the castle with him. The king was delighted to see the horse, and he immediately brought Yang out. Jaune noticed sheepishly that she was wearing the golden gauntlets he had ignored. He asked the king to allow him to say goodbye to the horse, and as soon as the three were touching Ruby again blurred away from the castle.

They met Blake and the princess and started their journey back home. As they walked, Weiss whispered a question to Jaune about Ruby and Yang. Realizing he had no idea, he decided to just ask them. "So, are you guys human or are you animals?"

"Yes." They both cryptically replied.

"That's not really an answer. Because sometimes you seem to be animals, but the rest of the time you're just wearing cheap animal costumes."

"You're such as asshole! Do you always insult the appearance of people you meet, or are we just that lucky?" They both cried out at once, angrily walking away from him. Jaune sighed. He really wanted to know, but clearly he couldn't get an answer without hurting his friends. He decided to ignore it and they just continued onward.

When they reached the end of the woods, Blake turned to him. "See what happens when you listen to me? Your journey is near the end, and you've got everything you could have wanted." Jaune simply nodded, the gratitude he felt clearly shining in his eyes. "Now, I have one favor to ask of you. Please, kill me and cut off my head and feet." Jaune looked at her, stunned, before steadfastly refusing. Blake had been his true friend, and he knew he could never hurt her.

Blake sighed wearily but seemed to understand his decision. "Fine, then this is where we part. I will give you two more pieces of advice: save nobody from execution and stop at no river on the way home." With that, she flicked her tail and bounded off into the woods.

Jaune told himself that was easy enough to follow and continued with his companions on the road until they came to the town with the two taverns. There, he saw a crowd gathered around a platform. On it, he saw his brothers face down with a large drunken man holding a massive scythe above their heads. Jaune remembered Blake's advice, but he also knew he needed to save his brothers. He leapt onto the stage and paid a ransom for their lives, and the whole group headed towards their home.

On their way through the woods, his brothers begged him to stop along the river so they could rest. He knew it was against Blake's advice, but he couldn't bring himself to go against his brothers' wishes. As they stopped, he felt a sudden push as Mercury shoved him into the river, and he saw them force his friends away as he sank towards the bottom. Once he reached the bottom, Jaune got his foot tangled in the roots and knew he could never save himself. Just as he was passing out, he saw a small figure swimming down towards him.

When he awoke, he saw Blake sitting next to him. She walked up to him, claws out, and swatted him over the head hard several times. "Again, we see what happens when you don't listen to me. Your brothers have taken your companions to the king and are claiming that they accomplished all of your deeds. The king suspects something, as the princess refuses to stop crying, the horse refuses to run, and the bird refuses to fly. However, he has no proof to reveal their lies."

"I must go in and tell him!" Jaune cried out.

"Yes, you must. I will help you one last time, and then you will fulfill my request. Agreed?" Jaune nodded his assent, and they began to plan for his return.

Jaune entered the castle, disguised as a poor man. As soon as he entered the throne room, Weiss ran and kissed him, Ruby sped over to him, and Yang flew above his head. Jaune told the king the truth of the events, and the king jailed his treacherous brothers. With no child of his own, King Ozpin made Jaune the heir to his kingdom.

Afterwards Jaune went outside to where Blake was waiting. He closed his eyes, slew her, and quickly cut off her head and feet. However, instead of a body Blake transformed into a beautiful young woman. "Thank you for saving me Jaune. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go see a little bird about something. This cat is about to finally eat the canary." Blake winked mischievously at him and sauntered away with a strange glow in her eyes.

Jaune wasn't sure what THAT meant, but he decided to leave his friend to her pursuit and went off to find his princess. He found Weiss in a bedroom on top of Ruby who was very much no longer wearing the golden horse costume. Or much of anything else.

"Um, honey, this isn't what it looks like!"

"Yes it is." Ruby said with a lazy smile. Jaune felt a flush coming to his face.

"I thought you said nobody was going to mount you until marriage?" He asked.

"No, I said no _man_ was going to mount me. I was very, very clear on that point." A moment of pure silence stretched out between them. Ruby finally broke it "Well, one of us definitely needs to move, and personally I'm _quite_ comfortable where I am." She demonstrated this by pulling Weiss down closer to her.

Jaune stifled a laugh as an idea came to him. "Actually..."

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 **And that's it for our first installment! I think it turned out pretty well. I'm trying for a mix between the actual Grimm tales, RWBY characters, and a more casual tone. Let me know if you liked it, or if you want the stories to lean more into one of those categories. This is the first long-term project I'm working on, so I'll actually be able to change things based off suggestions.**

 **The plan right now is to just go through the original Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales and post a new one about every week. The length of each one will vary pretty widely based off the size of the original story. From what I've done so far, this is definitely going to be one of the longest ones.**

 **That's all I've got, I hoped you enjoyed it. Tune in soon for the next installment of Grimms' RWBY Tales, "Luck of the Draw".**

 **Edit: Changed the name of the story. I realized after I posted it that the name didn't fit that well considering there aren't really actual Grimm in the story.**


	2. Luck of the Draw

Grimms' RWBY Tales #2: Luck of the Draw

Qrow Branwen was the luckiest man alive. Or at least, that's what everyone told him. Sure, his tools always seemed to break at the worst times, stones always seemed to slide under his feet, and tree branches always seemed to snap and fall on his head. But everyone said they had it much worse, and it's not like they would ever lie to him. After all, everyone around him loved him. They always seemed to be doing him favors. If he had thought about it, he might have realized how their behavior was very, very odd. But a man as lucky as him hardly needed to think much about the world.

Qrow had spent his life working on the fields for his master. Sure, he always seemed to have weird accidents occur, but he worked hard enough to fix them that he was still beloved by the farmer. On the advent of his seventh year, Qrow went to the man and asked for his payment so he could return home to his mother. His master gave him a lump of silver and bid him a fond farewell.

Qrow started his journey home but quickly realized the heavy weight of his payment. He was slowly walking up a hill (for the third time, he had slipped all the way down twice already) when he saw a traveler approaching on a horse.

"Hello there traveler, how you are doing? You seem disheveled and weary." The traveler called out.

"So I am. You see, I'm carrying my payment home but it is a very heavy load." He responded, holding up the lump of silver.

The traveler got the same gleam in his eye that everyone got before doing a favor for Qrow. "Well, how about a trade? I will take your burden from you, and I will give you my horse to make your journey easy."

 _What luck I have!_ Qrow thought to himself as he quickly agreed. The two finished the exchange, and the traveler strolled away, happily whistling his way down the hill. Qrow went to climb on the horse, but before he could grab the saddle he heard "You must be the most gullible person alive. Do you know how many horses you could have bought with that silver? Don't get me wrong, I'm great, but you could have bought a stable with that." Qrow looked down and realized the words had come from the horse.

"You're a horse, you don't understand money. Like he said, the man was doing me a favor. With you, completing the journey home will be easy!" He said as he swung himself up the horse and they started moving down the road. He looked down at the horse's head and noticed something weird. "Hey, why do you have cat ears?"

"Because there needs to be a way to identify characters in here without weirdly inserting their names everywhere. Cat ears are a pretty easy tell."

"...what?"

"Nothing, just ignore it. Can we just finish this so I can go read somewhere?" Qrow was incredibly confused, but decided to roll with the strange talking horse and they continued on. Their journey began easily enough, but soon they slowed down to a crawl. Everywhere the horse tried to step, the stones on the path seemed to shift under its weight. Finally, the horse slipped enough that Qrow was thrown from the saddle and landed in the mud. Looking up, he saw a shepherd standing there with a cow. "Are you okay?" The shepherd asked as he slowly got up off the ground.

"I'm okay, but this horse must be the unluckiest creature in the world." Qrow could hear the horse cursing at him behind him but he tried to ignore the words. _That horse has no idea what it's talking about. I would never do that with an earthworm!._ "It keeps slipping on stones, and slows my journey down immensely. Unfortunately, it's all I have to complete my journey home."

Qrow looked at the shepherd, and felt his spirits soar at the familiar look in his eyes. "Well then, why not trade me that horse for this cow? She's served me well over the years, but I would be willing to part with her for such a fine fellow. Just think, not only will you not have to ride her but you'll have as much milk as you could possibly desire." Qrow couldn't believe his luck. Two different strangers doing him such huge favors in a single day? It was almost unbelievable. He quickly agreed and took the cow's riding crop from the shepherd. "If she stops, a simple tap with her riding crop will get her moving again." The shepherd advised as they both walked away.

"Goodbye, idiot!" Qrow heard the horse yell over its shoulder. He again thanked his luck for ridding him of that awful horse and continued on his journey home.

"She's right, you know. Who trades a perfectly good horse for an old cow? Especially a milk cow without any milk." Qrow just sighed. He didn't need to look to know he had been stuck with another talking animal. He was so annoyed that he missed the last part of her comment. "Just keep away from me while we're walking. The horse told me exactly what you did to her, and that isn't going to fly here. Even if I wanted to, I'm not _that_ flexible anymore." The two continued walking down the path until Qrow became thirsty. He walked them to the side on the road, bent down, and tried to milk his new cow for a refreshing drink. He tried and he tried, but nothing came out.

"Ow, stop it, that hurts!" The cow exclaimed, "I told you before I'm out of milk. You really should pay attention before you buy things, idiot."

"Nonsense! That nice man would never have lied to me about you. You must simply have run out of milk since I bought you. Oh, how did I get two such unlucky animals in a row?"

As the two argued, a butcher leading a small pig approached them. "Hello friends, what seems to be the problem here?"

"My milk cow is unlucky. She has just now run out of milk." The cow had stopped talking and was just glaring angrily at him. "She must be the unluckiest cow in the world!" Qrow would have kept complaining, but he saw a wonderful expression cross the butcher's face.

"Well, you just so happen to be in luck friend. Clearly you have no need for a milk cow without milk, but my shop always has need for cows. Why don't we trade this pig here for your cow? He is much more manageable, and you will be able to fatten him up and eat him easily come winter." Qrow could hardly believe his luck, but he hastily agreed before the man could change his mind.

The pig was sniffing the ground and clearly not paying attention. The cow, however, looked stricken "Wait, Qrow, don't trade me! I take it all back, you're not nearly as stupid as you look! Please?"

Qrow just shook his head, took the pig's lead, and strolled away. "That was pretty cold man, giving your cow away to die." Qrow felt his spirits begin to drop. At least this one seemed to be less annoying.

"I needed to move fast before the butcher changed his mind. Deals that great don't come around for most people that often." At that, the pig looked at him and laughed.

"I guess she was telling the truth. Honestly, I thought she was exaggerating. For the record, she told me what happened, and I'm not entirely sure how you got it stuck in there, but I'm certainly not going to help get it out." Qrow sighed again. Clearly he spoke too soon.

They continued on their journey, the pig being mercifully silent, until he saw another man approaching him. He was going to keep past him, but the man stopped him by asking "Say friend, where did you get that pig from?"

"I traded with a butcher for him. Why do you ask?"

"Well, there was a pig stolen from the village I just passed, and its description matches the pig you're leading. I wanted to give you fair warning."

"I'm not stolen, that didn't happen, he's lying to you." The pig said from below him. Qrow, however, was too lost in his worry to hear him. He knew what happened to thieves, and he didn't want to be punished for something he didn't even do.

"Whatever shall I do? I know I got this pig fairly, but how could I prove it if asked?" Qrow lamented to the sky.

"Well, I'm heading out anyway. I suppose I could take the pig from you, just to make sure you don't get in trouble. I'll even give you this goose as a trade. She might be small now, but she'll grow up nice and plump."

"That's not a goose, that's a canary. A very, very small canary." The pig said. Qrow, too caught up in his good fortune, didn't appear to hear him. He agreed to the terms at once. The pig just sighed, "I've lived for a great many lives, but I don't think I've ever met someone as gullible as you before."

The two exchanged animals and continued on their way. Before he had taken more than a few steps, Qrow heard a voice come from his hand. "I feel like I'm getting typecast. A bird, twice in a row? Birds aren't even my thing! My mother would work perfectly well as a bird. If I'm not something different next time, someone is getting a shotgun shell to the face."

"...what?"

She made a resigned noise. "Nothing, don't worry about it. Let's go back to how you're a freaking idiot. Don't think the pig didn't tell me what you're into, you freak. And let me tell you, my feathers are not going to fit in there!"

Qrow was starting to think that maybe he wasn't actually that lucky. He couldn't believe he'd been stuck with another crazy animal. He continued walking, trying to ignore the increasingly confusing words coming from his hands.

After a while, the pair came to a small village. Qrow, having listened to the bird talk for hours, was not in a good mood. As he walked through the village, a man sitting on a grindstone stopped him. "Say friend, you look down. What's bothering you?"

"It's this bird here. It can't stop talking and it's driving me crazy."

"Hey, I absolutely can stop talking. I'm just refusing to because it annoys you." The canary said.

"See? I would get rid of it, but it's all I have now. My money is all gone." Qrow said dejectedly.

"Well, if it's money trouble you've come to the right place. See this grindstone? With it, I'm able to ensure that I always have money in my pocket. I could never part with this, but I have an older one that works perfectly well. You seem like a nice fellow, I would be willing to trade that canary for it, even though I would take a heavy loss."

"Seriously?" He heard from his hand, "Nobody could possibly fall for that." Qrow, however, was so used to tuning out the bird that he barely noticed her words. He was so excited for this opportunity he could barely stop himself from shouting his agreement.

The grinder smiled up at him, and grabbed a small stone sitting by his feet. He handed it to Qrow, and Qrow gave him the canary. He then walked away whistling, happy in how fortunate he had been in his journey. As he walked, he found himself staring at the stone, waiting for it to begin talking to him. Fortunately, it appeared that he had for once not received an annoying object and he thanked his luck again.

Finally, it began to grow dark. Qrow decided to rest the night by the trail, and found a place near the river to sleep. However, when he laid down the rock dropped from his hands and fell into the river. As he watched his rock flow down the river, he thought that there was probably a life lesson to be found in his travels. Instead of examining it, however, he decided to simply go to sleep,

After all, what did a lucky man need with life lessons?

* * *

"... and then, I gave him that small sick pig for a perfectly good cow." It was the next week. The traveler and his four friends had met up in a tavern.

"You think that's great? I gave him a stupid horse for a massive lump of silver! I bought a house, a stable, and five new horses with it!"

"Don't you feel bad about giving away your friends to this idiot?" Someone asked from behind the group.

"Not really, they weren't our friends. They're just animals. We can do whatever we want with them." The traveler responded. His words caused a sudden tension in the room, and the traveler knew he had made a mistake. He quickly turned around, but he saw nobody behind him. Before he could move, the candles in the tavern were all snuffed out. In the darkness, all the group heard was a circle of hoofs slowly contracting around them.

They never even had time to scream before it was over.

* * *

 **And that's a wrap for RWBY Tales #2.**

 **As a disclaimer, if you hadn't already noticed the characters will probably be OOC in various different ways. I'm trying to keep them as consistent as possible, but sometimes the story requires things like Qrow being an idiot.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this installment, and I'll see you next time for RWBY Tales #3, Queen of The Castle.**


	3. Queen of the Castle

Grimms' RWBY Tales #3: Queen of the Castle

Once upon a time there was a castle in which an old fairy named Salem lived. Salem jealously guarded her castle against all intruders. When any man came near the castle, he was frozen in place until Salem arrived. She would only free the man when he promised to never return to the castle. However, if any maiden came near the castle Salem turned her into a pretty bird and stuck her into a cage.

One day a couple came near the castle. Nora and Ren were a married pair of adventurers. They traveled the land, getting into fights and solving problems.

Well, Nora got into fights. Ren just backed her up.

Once they caught sight of the castle, Nora's face lit up in a huge smile. Nora loved castles. She loved exploring them, she loved running up and down their stone steps. They both knew the rumors of the evil fairy living there, but Nora wasn't worried. She had the same solution for an evil fairy that she had for everything else: if it tried to hurt her or Ren, she'd break its legs.

She turned and happily skipped towards the entrance, singing "I'm Queen of the Castle!" the whole way. Ren yelled at her to stop, but she simply gave a merry laugh and continued on her way. Ren ran after her, knowing that Nora would always do what she wanted without worrying about the later consequences.

Suddenly, Nora froze and stopped singing. Ren tried to run up to see if she was okay but found himself frozen in place a few feet away from her. He couldn't do anything as he saw the old fairy walk towards them with a cage in hand. He watched in silent horror as his beloved transformed into a beautiful pink bird and was locked into a cage. Salem walked up to him and unfroze him, and he jumped at her with StormFlower in his hands. She simply laughed in his face and waved her hand, and he felt a force pull him away from the castle into the woods.

Ren knew he could never go on, not without his beloved Nora. He employed himself as a cook in a nearby village, and spent all of his free time circling the castle trying to find a way inside. But no matter how long he searched, he could find no way past the fairy's spells.

One night, he had a dream in which he found a beautiful purple flower in a field. He went up, plucked the flower, and took it into the castle. The flower disarmed every spell and he used it to return his beloved Nora to his arms. When he awoke, he did so with the utter certainty that his solution to helping Nora was in that field. He left and searched far and wide for it. Finally, after days of searching he found the spot. His heart pounding, he slowly walked into the center of the field. When he got to the center, he saw not a flower but a young woman, her legs trapped under a complex series of roots. "Huh, you're not a flower." It had slipped out before he could stop himself.

The young woman glared at him. "And you're not a ficus. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, would you please help me out?" He quickly apologized and used his knife to help free her legs. Once they were both free, Ren explained his dream to the strange woman.

"... and then, I plucked you and took you to the castle and you helped me save Nora."

"Woah, wait a second." The woman said, shooting up. "Anybody who tries to pluck _me_ is going to lose an eye, do you understand?" Ren nodded assent. "Good. My name is Blake. As luck would have it, I was already on my way to deal with Salem. Come with me, and I will help you retrieve your beloved. Once we go near the castle, stay next to me. I will protect you from any of her evil spells."

"How can you counter her magic?"

"You're not the only one who lost someone precious to Salem. I knew I needed some powerful enchantments to defeat her. My journey took months and led me to the corners of the world, but I eventually tracked down an old wizard who knew Salem's magic. I had to gather four mystical relics for him before he would help, but I would do anything to save my beloved. You clearly care for Nora just as much, what did you do to help her?"

Ren suddenly felt a bit ashamed. "I, um, walked around the castle a bunch, looking for a way inside."

"...of course you did. Well, I'm sure that counts for just as much."

"Really?"

"No. Absolutely not."

They traveled together to the castle, and Ren walked onto the grounds. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized he could still move, and with newfound determination he moved towards the entrance and opened the door. Once they stepped inside, they heard a loud racket and hundreds of caged birds started singing. They walked to the throne room and saw Salem sitting on a golden throne, surrounded by bird cages. She hissed and gestured at them, but nothing she did had any effect on the pair of intruders. Ren saw her rage grow as nothing happened, and she finally couldn't stop herself from rushing at them.

That was a mistake. As Salem rushed towards them Blake moved forward, and there was suddenly a weapon in each of her hands. She jumped towards Salem and slashed down, and with a small scream Salem disappeared into a pile of ashes.

Ren ran around her room, searching each cage until he found the familiar pink bird. He opened it, brought the bird to Blake, and held it out to her. As soon as she touched it, the bird transformed into his sweet Nora and she pulled him into a tight kiss.

Seeing this, Blake smiled "Take your wife and go." She said "I'll turn each of these birds into women again and let them return to their homes. Starting with one very specific woman." Ren followed Blake's gaze until he saw a glowing yellow **cat** sitting in a bird cage near the throne. Ren recognized the same look in her eyes that Nora gave him when they were together. He turned hand in hand with Nora to leave but stopped as Blake tossed something in front of him.

"Put that on the front door when you leave. People are going to hear that the fairy is gone soon, and I want to give fair warning to them."

Ren wasn't sure exactly what she meant but decided not to question the woman who had helped him so much. He picked it up without a word and walked out the door with Nora. As they walked away from the castle into the sunset, Ren turned to look at the castle one more time. He could just barely make out the front door, a small black sock hanging from the door handle.


	4. Slight Overreaction

Grimms' RWBY Tales #4: Slight Overreaction

Tai was walking through the woods towards his home, a pile of firewood under each arm, when he heard a child's cry from above him. Looking up, he saw a small child balanced on the branches. He quickly climbed up and retrieved the scared infant. When he looked around he saw a raven flying in the sky above them, and it was clear she had stolen the poor child from her mother. As he looked down at her face, he noticed her staring at him with wide silver eyes. He knew then that he needed to protect the child and decided to raise her as his own. He took her home, introduced her to his daughter Yang, and called her Ruby for the red blanket wrapped around her.

Years passed, and the children grew up together. They became inseparable, and each thought of the other as a true sister. However, their cook Cinder watched the two and felt hate growing in her heart. One day, Tai announced he would be going on a journey for a few weeks. The next day, Yang noticed that Cinder was retrieving a large amount of water from the river. Yang asked why, and Cinder explained that tomorrow she was going to boil Ruby. Cinder didn't even seem notice the horrified expression on Yang's face, and she started ranting to herself, "Cookies and strawberries. That's all she ever wants to eat, cookies and strawberries. I went to cooking school for _eight years_. I am a culinary master, and I'm stuck spending half my time like a two-bit baker!" Yang left Cinder to her tirade and ran to find her sister. Once she found her, she warned Ruby of the danger and they decided to run away together. They waited until the dead of night and ran to hide in the forest until their father returned.

The next morning, Cinder waited for hours for Ruby to wake up, but she never left her room. She went to wake Ruby herself, but when she pulled back the covers on the bed she saw the bundle of hay shoved under there and knew the girls had run away. Cinder was furious and ordered Mercury and Emerald, her two assistants, to find and retrieve the young girls. Fortunately for the sisters, the search party was terrible in the woods. They heard them coming closer in plenty of time to climb a tree and hide. They waited in there until they see Emerald and Mercury walking near them.

"That's weird" Emerald said below them. "That rose tree only has a single rose on it." She pointed to the tree right next to where they were hiding.

"Who cares, I'm bored." Mercury whined, "Let's just tell Cinder all we found was a weird rose tree and call it a night. Okay?" Emerald nodded her agreement and the pair strolled off. Once they were gone, the sisters got out from their hiding space and ran further into the woods. When the searchers returned to Cinder and told her what they found, she chastised them. "You idiots, clearly they turned into that rose tree. Tomorrow we will go and cut it down, and they will turn back to girls."

The next morning, the three set off to find the tree again. When they found it, Cinder had Mercury chop it down. However, the tree didn't magically turn into two young girls. Realizing her mistake, Cinder quickly tried to spin the situation. "Apparently they turned back to normal after you left. If you idiots had done your job, you would have found them already. Now come, they must have run further into the woods." They all set off walking deeper into the trees.

Again, the sisters heard them coming long before they got close and climbed into a tree to hide. The search party walked right past them, and eventually came to a clearing with a small pond. Cinder, wanting to take a break from searching, told Emerald and Mercury to keep going while she looked around in this area. Once they had left, she went to go get a drink from the pond before sitting down to rest. However, on the way to the pond she tripped and fell into the water. Cinder couldn't swim, and she tried calling out for help as she started drowning. Ruby and Yang heard her cries, and they started moving to help whoever was yelling. However, they were too far away and didn't arrive until after Cinder was dead. Seeing her body, they decided to return home knowing that they were safe once again. Emerald and Mercury eventually returned to the clearing to search for their boss. They also found her body and decided to give up their search for the girls. They didn't really have anything personally against them.

They all returned home and waited for Tai to return from his journey. Once he did, they all explained what had occurred to him. "Is that really the only reason she wanted her dead?" Tai asked incredulously. "She was mad about the variety of what she cooked?"

"No, there was also something more." Emerald explained. "Do you remember that time three years ago when Ruby said that her rabbit was a little bit overcooked?" Ruby shook her head.

"Cinder did."


	5. Sleeping Rose

Grimms' RWBY Tales #5: Sleeping Rose

Summer and Tai were king and queen of a prosperous kingdom, but despite years of trying they could never produce an heir. Eventually Queen Summer fell into a terrible depression, and for months she spent all day alone in her garden. No matter how much King Tai tried, he could never manage to console her.

One day, Summer saw a small fish that had fallen out of the garden pond. She quickly grabbed the fish and threw it back into the water. The fish, grateful for its life, decided to grant the Queen's deepest desire, and it promised her that she would soon give birth to a daughter.

Sure enough, Summer grew pregnant and she had a daughter. They named her Ruby, and they decided to throw a great feast in honor of her birth. Everyone in the kingdom was invited, from the richest noble to the poorest peasant. They knew that they needed to invite the thirteen great fairies as well, but they could only find twelve golden dishes. They knew that they couldn't serve a fairy with anything less than pure gold, so they decided to not invite one of them and hoped she would never learn of the celebration.

The feast was spectacular, and afterwards the fairies each came forward to bestow a gift on the child. "What are you going to give her?" Raven asked Jaune. Raven was chosen to go eleventh, and Jaune had been picked to bestow the last gift.

"I don't know! I was going to give her beauty, but stupid Glynda stole that. At least I go last, I'll have time to think of something. What about you?" Jaune whispered back.

"I was going to give her poise." Raven answered

"You can't give her poise. Qrow already gave her grace, and Port gave her high class. They're all like the same thing!"

"No they aren't, poise is different. Try reading a book for once in your life."

"How?"

"It's, um, uh..." Raven stammered, clearly trying to think of something. "Because it is, okay? What do you want from me, there aren't really eleven separate gifts to give a young woman. They won't care, they're simply happy they have a child."

"Okay, fine, be that way. Personally I'm going to think of something unique, but you be redundant if that's what you want." With that, Jaune turned and started trying to think of something good. He still hadn't thought of anything by the time Raven had given Ruby poise. He had decided to come up with something on the fly and was right about to speak when the door flew open and Cinder, the thirteenth fairy, flew into the room.

"Excellent, I see I've managed to make it in time for the gift-giving phase of the feast." Cinder yelled as she moved up towards the throne. "To repay you for your kindness, I'll gift Ruby this blessing. On her 16th birthday, she will prick herself on a spindle and fall to her death." Cinder gave an evil laugh as she looked around at the horrified expressions on everyone's faces. "Well, I won't stay here and keep ruining all the fun. Everybody enjoy yourself!" She turned around and quickly vanished out the door.

As he looked around, Jaune knew exactly what he needed to do. He was the only fairy who hadn't yet granted a wish, so he was the only one who could save her. He knew he couldn't reverse Cinder's curse, but he could change it. He gathered together his power and said "Don't worry, she won't die. Instead, she will fall into a deep sleep for 100 years." Jaune felt rather pleased with himself. It was an elegant solution to circumvent the curse.

That feeling lasted for about 10 seconds before the other fairies had surrounded him. "Seriously, 100 years?" Raven was screaming right in his ear. "You could have made it 10 years or 1 year, why would you choose 100?" As Jaune endured the screaming fairies, he realized that they were definitely right. Suddenly embarrassed, he fled out the window. His fellow fairies followed him, their voices still able to be heard berating him long after they had disappeared from sight.

After the feast, King Tai ordered every spindle in the kingdom destroyed. Fifteen years passed, and Ruby grew up smart, beautiful, and talented. On the eve of her sixteenth birthday, her parents came to talk to her. "We're leaving on a little trip, Ruby. We'll be back in a few weeks." Tai told her.

"Seriously? It's my birthday tomorrow! And are you really not worried about the fairy's curse?" Ruby asked in hurt tone.

"Why would we be?" Tai replied. "We removed every spindle in the kingdom. It can't possibly happen now!"

"I don't think that's how prophecies work, Father." Ruby replied incredulously.

"Don't be silly, of course it is." Tai shrugged his shoulders. "At least, probably. I'm sure it'll be fine. See you later!" Tai said as he walked through the door. Ruby sighed. She started wishing, as she often did, that one of the fairies had gifted her father with some intelligence instead of giving her something.

When she awoke on her birthday, the castle was essentially empty. It seemed that her parents had taken everyone with them on their trip. Bored, she started exploring the castle to see if she could find anyone left. Everywhere she searched was empty until she came across a small room on the top floor. She went inside and saw an old woman spinning in the corner. Ruby knew she should stay away, but she was fascinated despite herself. She had never actually seen anyone spin before. Eventually the old lady noticed her presence and looked up. "Would you care to try your hand at spinning, dear? It really is quite relaxing."

Ruby briefly considered saying yes but decided against it. She was curious, but she wasn't an idiot. "Nope, that's not a good idea. I'll leave you to keep going." She started to walk away, but she tripped on the enormous red cloak the woman was weaving. She fell backwards and accidentally pricked her hand on the spindle. She instantly fell asleep, and the entire kingdom fell asleep with her. Magic hedges sprang up around the whole kingdom, and the entire place was locked down from the outside world.

As time went on, the legend of a rich kingdom with a beautiful princess locked behind briar patches traveled far and wide. For 100 years, people tried to get through the patches and reach the kingdom. However, every person who tried was killed by the poisoned thorns.

Right before the 100 year mark, an adventurer named Weiss was staying in a tavern near the briar. She heard tell of the mythical kingdom and decided to go check it out herself. However, when she got there she found not a wall of briar, but fields filled with beautiful flowers. She saw a huge castle in the distance, and as she walked towards it she noticed that every man and beast she came across was deep asleep. She tried, but no amount of noise or effort could wake them. She reached the castle and started to explore, but everywhere she searched was empty until she came to the top floor and saw a beautiful young woman asleep on the floor. She walked over to her and tried to wake her, but nothing seemed to work. She was about to give up when sudden inspiration hit her, and she leaned down and kissed the woman. There was a flash of light that spread out from her body, and Weiss heard great noises in the distance as everything in the kingdom awoke.

Everything except the young woman. She sat there and didn't move. Weiss examined the woman for a few seconds. "Come on, I know you're awake." She said.

"Nope." The woman whispered back. "Didn't work. Maybe you should try again?" Weiss thought to herself that it was weird a princess was acting like such a dolt, but it wasn't like they both hadn't enjoyed the kiss. She leaned down and kissed the princess again, this time longer than before. After their lips parted, the woman still didn't move at all. "Third time's the charm?" She whispered again. Weiss sighed before leaning down and obliging her. She had a sneaking suspicion she was going to have to deal with this kind of childish behavior for the rest of her life. As the kiss continued, however, she decided it was completely worth it.


	6. Riddles and Roses

Grimms' RWBY Tales #6: Riddles and Roses

Once there was an evil witch whose power came only from siphoning off the energy of others. However, she could only take the energy off willing souls. Cinder was a clever witch, and she devised a method to ensnare people. She tricked a young woman through the strategic use of strawberry cookies into being her servant. Then, she traveled the world with her servant and presented a challenge everywhere she went. She offered the young woman as a prize for solving a riddle, but the price of failure was losing their soul. None could solve her riddle, and she grew incredibly powerful as she traveled the world.

One day, she came to a village and offered up her riddle. Several tried to solve the riddle, but each failed and was transformed into a flower to be taken back to Cinder's castle. Right before Cinder was set to move to the next village, a traveling adventurer named Weiss reached the village. She heard in the tavern that a witch was challenging people to a riddle in return for a great prize and went to check it out. She saw the young woman sitting with Cinder and was instantly transfixed with her beauty. She knew that she needed to free this woman.

"I will solve your riddle." She said as she walked up to Cinder. Cinder smiled down at her. She knew that nobody could ever beat her challenge.

"Excellent. Spend the night talking with Ruby. Tomorrow morning, you must find her in a crowd. If you win, you will win her freedom, but if you lose I will take your soul. Agreed?" Weiss nodded her agreement. The price of losing was steep, but she knew in her heart that she needed to free Ruby. Cinder walked away and left her alone with Ruby.

Ruby immediately ran up to her and gave her a wide smile. "Hi, I'm Ruby. Nice to meet you." Weiss was surprised at how happy her voice sounded.

"I'm Weiss. Why are you so happy? I would expect a woman trapped in your position to be sad."

Ruby blushed at her words, and Weiss decided it was the most adorable thing she had ever seen. "I've seen many people fail Cinder's test, but I have a good feeling about you. I know you can do it!" Ruby's enthusiasm was contagious, and Weiss couldn't stop a matching smile from appearing on her face. They sat and talked the rest of the night, and by morning Weiss was convinced she could never again live without Ruby. During their talk, Ruby had tried multiple times to warn her about the riddle. Cinder, however, had bewitched her to never be able to explain it to anyone. Weiss knew she would have to figure it out on her own.

Cinder soon returned and took Ruby away. She returned within a few minutes, and Weiss followed her until they reached a field full of roses. Ruby was nowhere to be seen.

"Time for our riddle, adventurer. I've transformed Ruby into a rose. Find her, and you will win her freedom." Weiss looked at the full field and felt despair grow inside her. She had no idea how she was going to find Ruby. She knew she had to try, though, and she walked into the field and started examining each flower. However, every flower looked identical, and there was no way to tell which was Ruby. She had spent almost an hour examining different flowers before inspiration hit her. Every flower she had seen was a red rose that glistened in the morning sun. She suddenly realized that they glistened because of the dew that they had collected from the night in the field. Weiss started quickly searching the field, and she soon found the one flower that was completely dry. She plucked the flower and brought it back to Cinder, and Cinder was forced to transform Ruby back to normal and leave without her.

Once she realized she was free, Ruby jumped at Weiss and pulled her into a deep kiss. The pair soon married and lived happily ever after.


	7. Mistaken Identity

Grimms' RWBY Tales #7: Mistaken Identity

Once upon a time a donkey named Ozpin lived on a farm. He was hardworking and intelligent, and with his efforts the farmer became a rich man. As the years went on, Ozpin found himself able to work less and less. One day, his master called him into their house.

"I hate to tell you this, Ozpin, but we're going to have to put you down." The farmer told him.

"Why? I've served you faithfully for years." Ozpin replied.

"Yes, and I'm grateful for that. But I've crunched the numbers, and honestly you're more trouble than you're worth. See, there's this tax break for not owning donkeys that I'm angling for, plus the severe glue shortage makes your body worth more dead than alive. We can go over the spreadsheet in the morning, and once you see them I'm sure you'll agree it's the best choice for everyone." Ozpin couldn't believe it. This was his reward, after his years of faithful service? He decided right then that this wouldn't be how his life ended. He waited until the farmer fell asleep before grabbing a bag of stuff and sneaking out. He had already decided exactly where to go. He was going to travel to the city and fulfill his life-long dream of becoming a musician. Sure, he couldn't actually _play_ any instruments, but he would cross that bridge later.

On the path to the city, Ozpin saw an old, depressed dog sitting by the side. The tag on his collar identified him as Ironwood. "What's wrong, friend?" He asked.

"My master is planning on murdering me!" The dog replied. "After everything I've done for him, too! Doesn't he appreciate all that work I put into helping bury those bodies?"

"That sounds terrible." Ozpin replied. "How about you come with me instead? I'm traveling to the city to become a musician."

"Okay, but I can't play any instruments."

"Me neither! Let's go." The pair continued walking towards the city. They walked for a while before they saw a cat sitting on a fence looking as depressed as Ironwood.

"Are you okay?" Ozpin asked.

"No." The cat replied. "My master is planning on killing me this week. She said that there's no reason to keep me since I've already killed all the vermin in her house."

"That's terrible! How would you like to travel with us instead? We're going to the city to be musicians." Ozpin asked her.

"I suppose." The cat replied. "Although I can't play any music."

"Good. You'll fit right in!" Ironwood said. The cat joined them on the road, and the trio continued their journey towards the city. They kept walking until they reached another large farm and saw an old rooster sitting on the fence post.

"You look sad. What's wrong?" Ozpin asked.

"My master is going to kill me tomorrow. He said he bought an alarm clock and so doesn't need anything to wake him up. The ungrateful prick doesn't care about our years together."

"We were all in similar straights. We decided to become city musicians instead. Would you like to join us?" Ironwood asked. The rooster nodded.

"Sure, why not. Let's go." As he joined the group, the cat walked over to him. "Hey handsome, I'm Kali. What's your name?"

"The name's Qrow." The rooster replied. Kali burst out laughing.

"You're a rooster named Qrow? That's a little mean spirited."

"Like I said, he was a prick. Now, why would anyone want to kill such lovely cat?" He asked. Kali told her story, Ironwood and Ozpin chimed in with theirs, and by the time they were finished it was getting dark. They saw the lights shining from a large house near the road and decided to see if they could seek shelter there.

When they walked up to the house, they heard raucous noises coming from the door. They decided they should first peek inside the window, and they saw a large group of armed robberies feasting around a table. The group quietly backed away from the window until they were out of earshot of the robbers.

"We should get rid of these thieves." Ozpin said. "People like that shouldn't be feasting in large, comfortable houses. If you all agree, I've got a plan." Everyone else in the group nodded, and Ozpin explained his idea. Everyone would stack on top of each other, largest to smallest, and they would start towards the house singing loudly. The terrifying sight and the loud noise would scare away the robbers, and they could take the house for themselves. The group looked dubious, but unable to come up with a better idea they sprang into action.

"This is stupid. It'll never work." Qrow said from the top of the group.

"Nonsense. It'll go great. And even if it doesn't, I've wanted you on top of me since the moment we meant." Kali purred up at him.

"...what?" Qrow responded. Before she could answer, Ozpin started loudly braying, and everyone else joined in. They could hear noises of confusion as people started moving around the house, but before anyone could look outside the group reached their chosen entry point, a window on the side of the house, and crashed straight through it. The robbers took one look at the sight, which appeared to be a large multi eyed monster screaming in rage and spitting blood out, and they sprinted out the door. It didn't take long for the sound of them running away to fade into the distance.

"Told you it would work." Ozpin said.

"Probably only because of what they were drinking." Ironwood gestured at the empty liquor bottles littering the floor. "Plus, you're bleeding quite a lot from running through a glass window. Was there a reason we couldn't use the door?"

"So, a completely successful mission, with absolutely no negative consequences. Great job team!" Ozpin said, completely ignoring Ironwood. He sighed and moved to find some bandages as everyone else worked to clear away the glass shards.

Once they were all done, they sat together and ate what remained from the robbers' feast. Tired from a long day of traveling, they soon fell asleep around the floor.

A few hours later, the leader of the robber group slowly crept towards the house. Raven was much smarter than the other bandits, and after the initial shock had worn off she had realized that something about the thing that attacked their house didn't make sense. She had decided to go back and check on the house, and to kill anything she found in there if they had been tricked. She moved into the quiet house, but it was too dark for her to see anything. She reached into her pocket and struck a match against the ground to provide some light.

Unfortunately for her, she lit that match right in Kali's face. Kali leapt up, hissing, and sunk her claws deep into Raven's face. She screamed and tore Kali off, but the match was dropped to the ground and went out. With the room plunged back into darkness, Raven reeled around without any real direction. The scream, however, had awoken everyone else. Ironwood rushed at her and bit her heels while Ozpin kicked her in the stomach and Qrow started loudly cawing. Raven, unable to tell what was attacking her, was terrified she had upset a demon and sprinted away out the door. When she returned to the robbers, she told them what happened, and they packed up and moved far away.

The next morning, the group woke up to their newly won house. "I know we decided to be musicians, but last night's events gave me a better idea." Ozpin said. As soon as he had explained it, the group unanimously agreed, and they started to fix up their window. They had decided to stay in the house. They became known as the Demon of the Forest, and they terrorized the lands around them for the rest of their lives.


	8. Fishing for Wishes

Grimms' RWBY Tales #8: Fishing for Wishes

Jaune was having a terrible day. He had gotten to his fishing spot only to realize that he had forgotten to bring any bait with him. He knew he couldn't go back to the house and get it; Cinder would never let him hear the end of it. He had simply resigned himself to getting a poor showing today. He went hours without getting anything, and he was starting to think of ways to sneak into his house to grab the bait when his rod suddenly jerked down. It took a massive effort, but he eventually managed to pull the heavy object out. Revealing it to be a log, the weight of which bent his lucky fishing pole enough that it was unusable without extensive repairs. Fortunately he had a replacement rod with him, but he still hadn't gotten any fish.

He spent the rest of the day there but caught nothing. He was just grabbing the rod to go home when he felt a tiny tug on it. He knew it had to be something small, but even something small was better than going hungry for the night. He started reeling it in, and it didn't take long for him to pull a small golden flounder out of the water. He almost felt bad killing such a beautiful fish, but a meal was a meal. He dropped it into the bucket by his side, but before he could do anything else the fish spoke to him.

"What was that, man? I was swimming away, minding my own business, and you come and pull me out of the river? Where's the respect? Where's the common decency for your fellow creatures? Have you no shame?" The fish asked indignantly.

Jaune was so surprised his dinner had started talking to him that it took a few seconds for him to respond. "Sorry? Hold still and I'll kill you cleanly."

"Really? You pull in a talking fish, and that's your reaction?" The fish demanded

Jaime shrugged. "A guys gotta eat."

"Wait, wait, I'm not a fish. I'm a prince who was put under a spell. Do you really want to be a cannibal?"

Jaune was pretty sure he was lying, but it didn't hurt to check. "Prove it."

"Okay. Give me a wish and I'll grant it."

A fish that granted wishes? That would be incredible. The only problem was that Jaune wasn't great thinking on his feet. If he tried to ask for something now, he would only come up with something lame. "Um, can I get back to you?"

The fish sighed. It was going to be one of those people, he could tell. "Fine. Come back tomorrow and say this:

Golden fish, golden fish

Come and grant me my wish

Jump right out of the sea

To the pond next to me

Okay?" Jaune nodded and threw the fish back into the sea. He quickly walked home and told his wife everything that had happened. Cinder, predictably, did not take it well.

"You're an idiot! Not only did you not get any food for dinner, you couldn't think of a single wish? My mother was completely right about you. Tomorrow you're going to go back and wish for a nice house with some food on the table!" Cinder yelled at him. Jaune did what he always did; he took it silently, agreed with her, and went to bed.

The next morning he woke up and went back to the sea. He called the fish, and he sprang from the sea and landed in a small pond that had formed in front of his feet. Jaune told him that he wished for a nice house. "That's what you came up with, after a whole day? A nice house? Fine, have fun with it. Your wish is granted, throw me back." Jaune did as he was asked and returned home.

When he got back, he saw that his previous small hovel had turned into a massive mansion. Waiting in the front yard for him was a beautiful woman in a maid outfit. "Welcome home, sir. It's a pleasure to see you. Can I take your stuff?" She asked as she smiled at him.

"Who are you?" He asked, stunned by the new developments. Honestly, he had been half sure he was just hallucinating the talking golden fish.

"I'm Pyrrha, sir. I take care of the house."

"Oh, uh, good to meet you. Where is my wife?"

"She's right this way, sir." Pyrrha opened the door and led him through the mansion. Every single room was huge and was filled with more wealth than he had earned his entire life. He walked in on his wife lounging on the most comfortable bed he had ever seen eating from a bowl of grapes. She looked up when she saw him.

"I'm amazed you managed to do something without screwing it up, husband. I finally have the house I deserve. Now leave me alone. The maid will show you where you'll be staying." Jaune did what she said, and Pyrrha walked him to the room that was farthest away from his wife's bedroom.

"Here you are, sir. I hope it's comfortable." It was incredibly nice, but to Jaune it felt cold and empty.

"Why don't you stay and talk for a bit?" He asked. She looked surprised but closed the door and sat down. They talked for the rest of the night, and Jaune found that Pyrrha was smart, funny, and charming as well as beautiful.

The next weeks passed relatively quickly. He only saw his wife a few times and spent most of his day fishing and most of his night talking with Pyrrha. One day, for the first time since they got the new house, Cinder came and sat down next to him during dinner. "You screwed up the wish. You thought way too small before." Jaune considered pointing out that it had been her idea but decided against it. "Go back tomorrow and wish for me to be a queen."

"I don't think that's a great idea." Jaune answered. "Pushing the magic fish seems kinda stupid."

"I didn't tell you to think, Jaune. I told you to do." Cinder said as she walked away.

The next morning, Jaune did as he was asked. He went down to the shore, said the rhyme, and summoned the fish. "What do you want?" The fish asked.

"I need another wish. My wife wishes to be a queen."

The fish laughed. "Oh, and does she wish you to be her king?"

Now that the fish said that, he realized she hadn't really specified. But surely that's what she meant, right? She must have forgotten. "Yes, of course."

"Fine, if that's what you really want. Now put me back."

Jaune walked back home to find that his mansion had turned into a castle. Pyrrha was waiting outside to greet him again. She bowed down to him. "Welcome home, Your Majesty. If you'll follow me, I'll bring you to Queen Cinder." Jaune, too stunned to say anything, simply nodded and fell in line behind her. As he walked through the castle, he passed dozens of servants who bowed down to him as he walked past. For someone who had been born a simple fisherman, the whole experience was surreal. When he walked into the throne room, he saw Cinder perched on a massive golden throne. There were half a dozen people prostrating in front of her.

"Jaune, you did a good job for a change. I finally have the respect I deserve." Jaune walked up to join her by the throne, but she raised her hand and he stopped. "No, don't bother coming up here. There's a separate throne room set up for you. This maid can show you there."

Jaune wasn't entirely sure why he needed a separate throne, but he supposed it had to make sense somehow. He shrugged and followed Pyrrha out the door. Again, she walked to the far side of the castle before opening the door to his throne room. It was barely bigger than a closet, with a single wooden chair and a small bed in it. He sighed deeply. It seemed like the more his lot in life improved, the worse off he became. Still, it clearly made his wife happy, and that was what was truly important. He sat on the bed and gestured Pyrrha onto the chair. They sat and talked until he fell asleep.

His days passed identically to when he had been a fisherman in a nice house. He fished every morning, talked with Pyrrha every night, and barely saw his wife. One day she stopped him before he left for the morning. "Husband, I have learned that there are other kings and queens in the world."

"Well, yeah." He replied. "There have always been kings and queens ruling the lands."

"That's completely unacceptable! Nobody should be equal to me! I want to be a goddess, above everyone else. So you're going to go back to the fish and make me a goddess. I want what I deserve!"

"I'm not sure that's a great idea."

"You're an idiot, husband, you're never sure of anything. That's why you do exactly what I say. Now go." She turned and walked away from him. It really seemed like a bad idea to him, but Cinder was smarter than him. If she thought it was best, she was probably right.

He returned to the sea and summoned the fish. "Seriously? What is it now?" The fish asked.

"My wife requires another wish. She wishes to get what she deserves."

"That one will be my pleasure. How about you, would you also like what you deserve?" The fish's wry tone would have set alarm bells ringing in most people's heads, but Jaune wasn't most people.

"Yeah, of course."

"Okay. Return home, your wish is already granted." Jaune returned home to find that his castle had returned to his old hovel. He looked around, but Cinder was nowhere to be found. All that he saw was a stunningly detailed ice sculpture that looked exactly like his wife. He figured she must have run off with someone else and left the sculpture as a reminder of her. His wife leaving him surprisingly didn't really bother him. He only hoped she was happy with what she deserved.

The next morning he woke up to a knock on the door. He opened it, and he saw Pyrrha standing there. For the first time, she was dressed in normal clothes. "Hey Jaune. It seems my job has disappeared, and I have nowhere else to go. Can I stay here with you?"

"Of course." Jaune said. He knew he would appreciate the company now that Cinder was gone. The pair lived together for years, fell in love, and eventually married. Throughout the years, no matter how hot it was outside, the ice statue remained perfectly solid.

Jaune never figured it out.


	9. Hide and Seek

Grimms' RWBY Tales #9: Hide and Seek

Princess Yang was the most beautiful woman in the world. People traveled from far and wide to get a glimpse of her beauty. She had many suitors, but she never really liked any of them. Many of them learned that trying to push through anyway led to dealing with her decisive denial. It became known far and wide as "Shotgun Shell to the Face."

Eventually a witch moved next to their castle. She saw the multitudes of people who flocked to visit the princess, and her heart grew jealous. Finally, her rage was so great that she cursed Yang. She would live in a tower, with twelve vast windows able to see everything. She could only be freed from the tower if someone could hide from the sight of every single one of the windows. If Yang saw them, Cinder would eat them.

Tales of the beautiful princess waiting to be saved from the witch traveled far and wide, and hundreds tried to free the princess from her prison. Every time Yang tried not to see them, but the curse compelled her to look in each window. None could escape from her gaze forever, and Cinder had a steady supply of food for years.

One day, Blake Belladonna heard tell of the trapped princess. She was a seasoned adventurer, and she knew she could free this poor woman from her terrible fate. On her way to the tower, she came across a crow whose right wing was pinned to the ground by a pair of rocks.

"What happened?" Blake asked.

"No idea. I was out for one single drink, I got a little tired, and when I woke up my wing was pinned!" The crow responded.

"It seems more like you passed out drunk than had a single drink."

"I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!" The crow yelled at her. She backed up and raised her hands in surrender.

"I didn't say you did. Now, would you like some help?" The crow nodded. "Okay, then calm down and hold still." Blake walked over and lifted the rocks off his wings.

"I won't forget this!" He called as he jumped into the air and flew away. Blake felt satisfaction at being able to help and started walking with a warm glow in her heart. She continued on until she came to a riverbank where she saw a golden fish flopping around on the shore. She quickly ran over and threw the fish back into the river.

"Thank you, kind woman." The fish said as it swam away. "I owe you one!" Blake felt her satisfaction growing, and she continued walking. Soon, she heard a low distressed cry coming from a little off the road. She investigated and found that a fox was mewling as it tried to crawl its way out of a hole covered by thick branches.

"Do you need some help?" She asked.

"Yes!" The fox replied. "The storm last night must have knocked over these branches, and now I can't get out."

"Um, the last storm was five days ago." The fox gave her a confused look.

"Oh, oops. Here's some friendly advice then: if a cat offers to try some catnip with you, say no. It isn't worth it."

"Right. I'll keep that in mind." Blake said as she started lifting branches off the hole. It didn't take long for her to clear it, and the fox was free to leave.

"Thanks for the help." The fox said.

"My pleasure. Have a good day." Blake said as she walked away. It wasn't far from the fox hole to the tower, and she had reached it by the next day. As she walked up to the base of the tower, she saw a woman sitting there.

"Are you here to free the princess?" The woman asked. Blake nodded at her. "Excellent. I love food that delivers itself. Try to find somewhere to hide. When Yang finds you, you'll be teleported directly into my oven." Cinder cackled to herself. "Don't forget to have fun!" She said as she started to walk away. Blake could hear her muttering about whether to use lemon or garlic tonight before she disappeared into mist.

Blake looked around for somewhere to hide, but before she could find anywhere she heard a flapping of wings from behind her. "If you want to hide, one of my eggs is the best place." The crow she had saved said. Blake thought about it and realized he was right. The princess would never think to look inside an egg for her. She followed the crow to his nest and crawled inside an open egg that he sealed behind her.

"You might be in there a while." The crow said. "We're all the way at the tenth window, and she's still on the second." That was fine with Blake. It was nice and warm in here, and she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

She awoke to the sound of wind rattling against the outside of the egg. A particularly strong breeze went by, and she felt herself thrown off the nest before she crashed into the ground. She was momentarily blinded up the bright sun as the egg shattered to pieces. "I'm sorry. That's just my luck." The crow called down. "She's only two windows away. You should run to the right."

Blake nodded and sprinted away. As she ran, she looked for a good hiding spot, but she couldn't find anywhere. She soon came to a river and saw the golden fish she had saved by the shore. "Come here and hide in my belly." The fish said. Blake knew it was a little gross, but it was definitely somewhere the princess wouldn't find her. She crawled inside its open mouth, and the fish swam away. "She's getting close to the end now." The fish said. "Hopefully it won't be too long now."

She had only just gotten into a comfortable position when she heard loud growling coming from all around her. "Are you okay?" Blake asked.

"Yeah. Probably. I sometimes get a little seasick is all."

"You're a fish. How can you possibly get seasick?" She asked incredulously.

"I don't know! It just happens!" The fish angrily responded. Blake felt the area around her start to vibrate, and suddenly she was thrust out of the stomach along with everything else. She ended up in the river, covered in fish vomit.

"Gross!" She screamed.

"I'm sorry!" The fish cried as he swam away. Blake turned and swam to shore as quickly as she could, trying to ignore the disgusting liquid covering her. Fortunately, by the time she had reached the riverbank the water had washed all of that off her.

"Would you like me to help hide you?" Blake heard from in front of her. She looked up, saw the fox, and nodded at him. She needed all the help she could get. The fox walked over, picked her up in his mouth, and started walking towards the tower. Blake slowly felt herself getting smaller, and by the time they reached the tower she had turned into a small black tulip. The fox climbed the tower and, when he went through the closest window, Blake got her first look at the princess. If she had still been a person, it would have taken her breath away. Her long golden hair and kind lilac eyes were more beautiful than she could possibly have imagined.

"I have a present for you, from your newest suitor." The fox said. Blake felt herself being lifted up into the princess' hands.

"It's gorgeous." The princess said. "I really hope I can't find her."

The fox laughed. "I suspect she'll elude you. Good luck!" He said as he leapt out the window.

"I hope so." The princess whispered to the seemingly empty room. Blake felt herself move until she was placed into something silken soft, and it took her a few seconds to recognize the princess had placed her in her hair. Blake sat safely out of her eyesight as she felt the princess walk to each window. She started walking faster and faster until suddenly she stopped and gave a cry of relief.

"I can't find her, Cinder! She wins!" The princess yelled to the sky. Blake heard a loud scream of rage in the distance as the ground started shaking, and suddenly the tower had transformed itself into a huge castle. A few seconds later, Blake felt freezing cold before she blinked, and she was back in human form standing in front of the princess.

"Well aren't you the cutest little thing." The princess said in a tone that could only accurately be described as hungry. "Why don't I show you to my room so I can _thank_ you properly." Blake followed her up without a word, and they had a very long, very loud thanking session. After that, the pair soon married and lived happily for the rest of their lives.

* * *

 **So I have some unfortunate news. As has probably been clear to anyone who is following this, "weekly chapters" haven't been happening lately. Life has intruded in various ways, and as of right now I don't have enough time to confidently commit to that schedule. I was hoping that would change (and maybe it will in the future), but for now I need to slow my releases down. My new plan is a chapter every three weeks. It's much more realistic, and I should be able to keep to it consistently.**

 **I sincerely apologize to everyone who has been enjoying this work. I hope you'll continue to enjoy what I do put out even though there's a longer wait between them.**


	10. Wedding Deception

Grimms' RWBY Tales #10: Wedding Deception

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Weiss. On the eve of her eighteenth birthday, her father sent out invitations far and wide in an attempt to find a suitable match for his daughter. Weiss met with dozens of people over many months, but she never found anyone she truly wanted to marry.

Finally, when she was beginning to give up hope of ever meeting her true love, a princess from a neighboring kingdom came to her castle. At first glance, Ruby Rose was not someone Weiss would ever want to even befriend. She was energetic, childish, and overly friendly. Their personalities could not be more different, but Weiss still found herself drawn to Ruby. For some reason she couldn't explain, she fell madly in love with the young woman.

But, when Weiss went to her father with her decision, he refused to agree to the marriage. He had been watching Ruby, and he decided that she was too immature and irresponsible to trust to his daughter. A despondent Weiss declared that she would marry nobody except for Ruby. Enraged, the king locked her in a tower and declared he would let her out only when she changed her mind.

Weiss, however, knew where her heart lay. No matter how long it might take, she would escape and reach her true love. Every night, she snuck to the base of the tower and used a chisel to chip away at one of the blocks. It took her many years, but eventually she managed to create a large enough hole to escape. She fled her father's kingdom and journeyed to Ruby's castle to reunite with her true love. However, when Weiss reached the castle she learned that Ruby had already been betrothed to another woman. With nowhere else to go, Weiss became a servant in their castle. She figured that, even if she couldn't be with her beloved, she could still spend time around her.

A week before the wedding, Ruby's betrothed arrived at the castle. However, she immediately went into her room and refused to leave. Cinder told everyone she was too sick to see anyone and would stay in her room until the wedding. The truth was that Cinder was actually a commoner pretending to be a princess to marry Ruby and take control of her kingdom. She was hiding in her room to avoid anyone recognizing her.

Weiss was the servant chosen to take care of her. As she spent time helping Cinder, she came up with the perfect plan to hide her identity. Cinder's dress included a veil that covered her entire face. She sent word to Ruby requesting the veil not be lifted until the night of the wedding, dressed Weiss in her dress, and sent her to the ceremony. Weiss, knowing that refusing Cinder was a bad idea, agreed to the arrangement.

Ruby had never met her bride, but when she got up to the altar something about her seemed incredibly familiar. During the ceremony, she gave Weiss a silver necklace with a rose emblem. Weiss desperately wanted to tell Ruby the truth, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She left after the ceremony to go to her quarters as Ruby went to meet Cinder in her bedroom.

However, when Ruby sees Cinder without the necklace she realizes that she married someone else. As she thinks about it, she remembers why she found Weiss so familiar. Once she realizes her true love came back to her, Ruby rushes around the castle looking for her.

What she doesn't know is that Cinder sent her servant Emerald to dispose of Weiss to cover up her deceit. Emerald had broken down Weiss' door and was right about to kill her when Ruby arrived in a blur of petals. Pulling out Crescent Rose, she dispatches of the assassin and saves Weiss. Once Weiss is saved, Ruby took her out of the servant quarters, dressed her in a fine dress, and took Weiss to her room. Cinder is imprisoned for her crimes, and Ruby and Weiss are formally married. They live happily ever after, together.


	11. Outfoxed

Grimms' RWBY Tales #11: Outfoxed

Blake was walking down the forest path, whistling to herself. It was good to be a cat here; fish were plentiful, naps were frequent, catnip grew throughout the forest. She was going to meet her amazing girlfriend for dinner. Today, life was fantastic.

As she walked, she saw Adam the Fox sitting by the side of the road. Normally she would have ignored him, but she was in such a great mood she instead said "How are you enjoying this beautiful day, Adam?"

Adam turned to glare at her, rage evident on his face. "How dare you disturb me? Who do you think you are, asking me that?"

Blake bristled. She was simply trying to be a friendly neighbor. "Calm down. We live in a beautiful forest, what could you possibly have to whine about?"

"You could never understand my problems, little mouse eater. You're far too stupid." Blake was offended. She would never eat mice when fish were much more delicious.

"Arrogance and intelligence are not the same thing, Adam. You have much of one, and very little of the other."

"What do you know about it, huh? I'm a genius! I know hundreds of tricks! Compared to me, you're nothing!" Blake was about to respond before she heard something rapidly coming closer. The sound of panting and paws scrambling over branches filled her ears.

"I know the only trick that matters, Adam. I know how to escape from hunting dogs." She sprinted forward and jumped onto the nearest tree, using her claws to climb her way up one of the branches.

"That's stupid. The dogs will simply wait for you at the base of the tree. Only I'm smart enough to escape from them." Adam said. Blake saw the pack of dogs burst through the foliage as Adam tried to start running away. They all soon passed out of her sight, but not her hearing. She heard very clearly when the dogs caught up to Adam, and the chase ended abruptly.

"Like I said, I only needed the one trick." Blake said.

"That's a lie. You know two tricks to escape from dogs." She heard at the base of the tree.

"Maybe, but my other one doesn't work anymore. I hear the pack leader is already a taken woman." Blake said before leaping down and tackling her girlfriend to the ground. Yang started laughing as the pair rolled around on the ground for a while. Yang had the size advantage; it didn't take her long to pin Blake to the ground.

"So what's for dinner, kitten?"

"Fish."

"You always pick fish."

"Yeah, and you always pick the after dinner activities. You want to trade?"

Panic flitted across her girlfriend's face. "Nope, I'm good. Lead the way, Blakey." Yang got off Blake, and the pair walked together towards their dinner.


	12. The End

**As the title suggests, this is the last installment of Grimms' RWBY Tales. I've enjoyed writing these, but lately they've turned more into a chore than anything. I've decided to end the series rather than drag out something I'm not particularly enjoying anymore.**

 **Thank you all for reading, a special thanks to everyone who left a review, and I hope you enjoy the final chapter.**

* * *

 **The End**

"I think that's enough for tonight." Ruby said as she closed her book.

"You think?" Weiss replied. Ruby looked up for the first time in a while to see that the sleepy-eyed Weiss was her only awake teammate. Blake and Yang were cuddled together asleep on their bed.

"Uh, oops. When did that happen?"

"Yang fe-" Weiss started before being interrupted by a long yawn. "Sorry." She continued. "Yang fell asleep two or three ago, but Blake stayed awake until halfway through this last one."

"Good, we'll only have to go through one again next time for Blake. Yang already knows most of these by heart."

"Does she?" Weiss asked pointedly. Ruby couldn't stop herself from letting out a nervous little laugh.

"Of course, it's the same book she always read to me. I just changed the names." She lied. Weiss' eyes narrowed, and Ruby realized she should probably practice lying more.

"Some of it seemed oddly specific, Ruby. Mind if I see it? I'd love to read a few more before bed."

"Uh, nope! Sorry Weiss, but we can't have you reading ahead!" Ruby was worried that she might push the issue, but she just shrugged and got up to get into her bed. Ruby let out a small sigh of relief. She was having a lot of fun changing the stories in the moment, and although it was apparently more obvious than she thought she didn't want to ruin it by letting Weiss see the originals.

"It's a shame. I really wanted to explore more about beautiful princesses falling in love with dolts, but I guess I'm just going to go to sleep instead. In my big, cold, _lonely_ bed." Weiss winked at her before moving out of her sight.

Ruby was oblivious sometimes, but even she wasn't that oblivious. She carefully put the book away before jumping up and joining Weiss in bed. She loved fairy tales, but there were times when the reality was so much better. Her stories would always be there tomorrow.


End file.
